Think Less, Speak Up More
Today’s post comes from guest blogger, speaker, and author Stacey Shipman. Stacey is the co-creator of Flourish & Thrive a unique mastermind experience for business owners and leaders and is the author of the forthcoming book Claim Your Voice: Move From Speaking Stress to Speaking Success.
Do you have a lot of things you want to say, yet something keeps you from speaking up? Maybe you feel uneasy in front of groups, have trouble expressing ideas clearly (or at all), or maybe you think no one cares about what you have to say.
Here is what I want you to know: Your ideas matter and your voice deserves to be heard.
Let me share a personal experience. Five years ago I attended a workshop at the Gestalt International Study Center (GISC) on Cape Cod. We were learning all sort of tools to be better people and professionals. One such concept is something GISC calls “well developed/less developed.”
Here’s how it works. In groups of three we were told to identify a trait or skill we don’t like about ourselves and turn it into a positive. Then, we would identify how that “negative” makes us an expert in something. The problem I came up with: overthinking my ideas and rarely to never sharing them.
One of the group members asked me, “How does over-thinking serve you in a positive way?”
This question made me pause. I had never considered that over-thinking could be helpful.
See, big ideas and solving problems excite me. So, I spend a lot of time thinking. Sometimes my brain feels so full I imagine smoke billowing from my ears just before my head explodes. With the help of this peer group, I realized that over-thinking does in fact have an upside. It allows me to analyze problems from all angles and come up with solutions others might miss. In that moment I became an expert at analyzing problems from all angles.
Finally, my group members presented me with a challenge for development: Turn some of the thinking into action even if the thought or idea isn’t fully formed.
Although my insides stirred a little, I accepted the challenge. After all, what good is attending a personal development workshop if you’re not going to do the work? So, I committed to share my ideas more during group interactions and social conversations. Each time my stomach turned less and less.
Thanks to my experience that day, I walked away with two big lessons and one reminder:
Lesson #1: Thinking too much is mentally exhausting!
I don’t need to stop thinking all together. Instead I need to press pause on thinking and share ideas more. What ideas are stirring in you? Can you take one small step to turn them into reality?
Lesson #2: Thoughts and ideas don’t need to be fully formed to put them into the world.
At the workshop, one group member suggested that sharing thoughts when not fully formed provides a starting point for others to brainstorm and contribute. What an incredible benefit to everyone. How can your voice become a catalyst for others to brainstorm and contribute?
Lesson #3: The Right Support Matters
Having the right people around to question assumptions and provide feedback can make life and work challenges more manageable. What support do you need to think less and share ideas more?
The Bottom Line:
Thinking less and sharing ideas more requires deliberate effort. When you have the courage to get ideas out of your head and into the world you open yourself up to opportunity.
Your voice can make a difference. The question for you today is, do you have the courage to use it?
About the Author
Stacey Shipman brings out the best in people. As a communication coach and facilitator she specializes in helping number focused professionals power up their people and presentation skills. In addition, Stacey is the co-creator of Flourish & Thrive a unique mastermind experience for business owners and leaders and is the author of the forthcoming book Claim Your Voice: Move From Speaking Stress to Speaking Success.
Stacey will be speaking on this topic at the Boston GLOW Career and Empowerment Conference on Saturday, April 21st, 2017, at 10:15am. To register, please visit https://bostonglowcareerandempowerm2018.sched.com/
3 Superpowers of Introverted Women
This blog is a guest post from Amma Marfo. Amma is the author of two books on introversion. The first, THE I’S HAVE IT, demystifies introversion, identifies its hallmarks, and instructs on how to best embrace their introversion in a variety of professional scenarios (the office, interviews, conferences, graduate programs, etc). The second advises professionals on how to create opportunities in 5 areas of the student leader experience- recruitment, selection, advising, assessment, and recognition.
The first time I talked about wanting to research introversion in leadership, I remember being told by a professor I worked with, “I don’t think you’ll find anything.” Indeed, myths persist that introversion and leadership capacity are fundamentally incompatible. But after years of research, interaction with introverts defying these stereotypes, and cataloguing the best qualities that introversion has to offer, I can refute those assertions with hard evidence.
Sharing this research with women always feels reassuring. Whether it’s because there’s one fewerthing standing in their way, or because any form of affirmation in a world that doesn’t always listen to women is welcomed, it is important to recognize that introversion presents several “superpowers” for effective leadership. Today, I want to share three.
Superpower #1: Marvelous Meeting Mavens
A few weeks ago, I saw a colleague I had worked with on a remote team. She shared appreciation for how our meetings were conducted: focused, timely, and productive. In truth, I’m wholly comfortable with “she ran a good meeting” being my epitaph. But as it happens, the skills that it takes to run an effective meeting and to lead people come relatively naturally to introverts.
Because they value time to prepare ahead of the rapid-fire exchange of ideas that takes place in these environments, introverts tend to be quite respectful when preparing for meetings. Requesting input when building agendas, sharing said agendas in advance of the meeting itself, and creating additional opportunities to contribute before and after, are all courtesies that introverts benefit from- and can therefore also manifest themselves in what introverted leaders extend to their direct reports.
Superpowers, Activate! If you’re in charge of conducting meetings, consider sending agendas out 48 hours before you convene, labeling items you’d like people to think about in advance.
Superpower #2: Wonderful Writing Warriors
A bit of science: the introverted brain thrives on a neurotransmitter called acetylcholine, which explains the comfort we feel when we hit “a groove,” or “flow,” on a project. It runs on a longer neural pathway than the more commonly known dopamine- which explains why we so often have those “tip of the tongue moments”- because the thought literally hasn’t made it from your brain to your mouth.
Creating an organization that welcomes contributions from its employees in many forms – not just spoken, but also in writing or through multimedia contributions – will enrich the quality of ideas shared. Can decision making be extended to allow those with thoughts after a meeting, to send a follow up email with additional ideas or questions? How are those who prefer to read from notes when reporting out, perceived? Recognizing that deliberation and composition is important to some communication styles, and then honoring that difference in practice, could change the face of your organization.
Superpowers, Activate! If you conduct 1:1 meetings with direct reports, consider providing prompts for reflection ahead of your time together, so that individuals have time to write out answers to questions or ideas to guide problem solving.
Superpower #3: Deliberate Decision Making Divas
Too often, we recognize a problem and then rush to solve it, eager to shed the discomfort of knowing something is “wrong.” When we rush, we can miss important details: available resources, efforts from other departments, or even blind spots that will make our solutions insensitive or ineffective. But because many introverts value information gathering and thrive when allowed to deliberate, introverted leaders excel at making measured decisions.
In leadership roles, introverted leaders will ask thought-provoking questions, share information freely, and recommend resources that can round out decision making processes. Team members feel less rushed and better informed when these skills are engaged, which can also lead to a greater sense of belonging and engagement for those under your leadership.
These are far from the only superpowers that introverted women have in their arsenal. This April, I’m so excited to dispel common myths about introversion, address the parallels between the marginalization of introverts and that of women, and unlocking more assets that introverts can bring to a productive and prosperous team.
Amma will be speaking on this topic at the Boston GLOW Career and Empowerment Conference on Saturday, April 21st, 2017, at 10:15am. To register, please visit https://bostonglowcareerandempowerm2018.sched.com/